I have never been a big fan of change. The concept of something different and new is not as exciting to me as things that are worn-in and well-loved. Change to me has always been a necessary evil, caused by aging or tough decisions, and resulting in the loss of something precious. I am usually such a big fan of the way things are that I don't want to let go of even one part of it. Even happy changes, like marriages and graduations, bring that twinge of sorrow for time gone by.
In a perfect world, I would take all of my extended family and friends, move them to Jackson, transplant George Fox to Teton Valley, and put the whole thing within 50 miles of the Pacific. One of my favorite songs is by Sara Groves, called 'Every Minute' and it speaks to this: "I wish all the people I love the most could gather in one place, and know each other and love each other well. And I wish we could all go camping and lay beneath the stars, with nothing to do and stories to tell. We'd sit around the campfire, and we'd make each other laugh, remembering when. And you're the first one I'm inviting, always know that you're invited, my friend!" I hope that is what heaven will be like, because I can't think of anything better than gathering around a campfire with my Lord and my friends. But until then, I am always going to be torn and have to learn to let go of something to lay hold of others.
One of the things I am choosing to let go of right now, in spite of my dislike for change, is my time as part of the GFU track community. I have been in Newberg and at Fox for the greater part of 11 years, starting as a freshman in 2001 and now finishing my 7th year as an assistant coach. Being a part of the track team has meant the world to me. It is home. It has shaped me, it has taught me, and yes, it has changed me. I have grown into Christ here. I have learned about God's faithfulness and provision in all circumstances. As an athlete, I developed some of the most meaningful friendships of my life, and was able to use the unique talent God gave me to show His work in an amazing way. As a coach I have been able to laugh, cry, pray, and share life with some amazing people. I have watched God fulfill some incredible dreams. Saying goodbye to this experience will be one of the hardest things I've done.
I am also saying goodbye to my time at St. Paul. I have loved this job from the first day on. I have loved getting to know the girls I have coached, loved working with middle schoolers, and loved the staff. This job has been wonderful, even on the tough days, and I am thankful that God gave it to me for a season.
So what am I saying hello to? For several years now, God has been planting and watering a little seed in my heart. I'm not sure when it started - it might have been eight years ago, on a bus in the Scottish highlands. Or maybe four years ago, when a Romanian missionary talked to me about teaching in Beius. It definitely had a home two years ago, when Ryan and Emily moved to Germany and I started looking into ways to teach in Europe. This international teaching seed has grown into a full-fledged plant - although I'm as yet unsure what it will look like fully grown!
For a long time, I was sure I wanted to teach in Europe - preferably in the Alps, of course! My heart found a home in Switzerland, and has longed to wander back there someday. That someday might still lie in the future - or perhaps God has created some Swiss Alps in heaven (like the mountains at the end of The Last Battle!) But for now, my place is not in a chalet along a mountainside. When I went looking for places to teach, God put one in front of me I would never have thought of - one that excited my spirit and immediately felt like a place that could be home. This place is on the other side of the world, in a city called Suwon, where a small Christian school needs someone to teach social studies and PE.
So this summer, July 24th to be exact, I am flying from Portland to Seoul, South Korea, where the next stage of my life's adventure is going to begin. I am excited and anxious, sad and content, and so overwhelmed by my to-do list that the 7 weeks since I accepted the job have been a bit crazed. The anxiousness comes from the prospect of living in a city for the fist time, the newness of the job, the different culture (and food!), and saying goodbye for a while to my family and all that I have known. The excitement is knowing I'm headed to a new country and to a school that I want to be a part of, the chance to get IB experience, the chance to travel, the chance to make an impact, and getting to start a new adventure.
Above all that I am feeling is the knowledge that this is the place the Lord has brought me to. Through every step of this process I have been able to see God's hand and timing, and it is a huge comfort to me to know that this is where He wants me to be. I know that when the time comes, He will take care of me. He will hold me up when I am full of fear, comfort me when I am homesick, surround me when I am overwhelmed, and guide me when I feel lost. Our God crosses borders, transcends human limits, and is present everywhere we are. This opportunity is a gift from the Father, and I am so grateful to have been given this gift!
James 3:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
